Online dating promises fast, quick connections, but anyone who has ever used a dating app knows it can also be overwhelming and time-consuming. Messaging back and forth, trying to schedule a time that works for both people, and then hoping the date goes well can be a lot of work. On top of that, you have first-date anxiety, and on other dating platforms, fake profiles, bots, and mechanisms to keep you on the app.
We’ve put together a list of tips to help move you from the chatbox to that first date with style, so you can start finding the people that matter.
Q: How do I meet someone who’s looking for the same things I am?
A: Finding the special people who share our values and help us grow can feel like searching for a phone down the side of the sofa. If you're clear on what you want from a partnership, it's worth finding a fun way of expressing that on your profile. If you can make yourself laugh in the process you're heading in the right direction. From this point, it's a game of finding those who are truly taking notice of what you are putting out there.
Q: How do I overcome my first-date jitters?
A: You're not alone in your feelings of nervousness. It's something we all share and it's good to be on your own team. Try to avoid thinking in terms of "success" or "failure" and instead focus on how turning up will be a positive experience regardless of the outcome. It's just a date. Now if the feelings of insecurities persist and they are stopping you from being authentic, my simple advice would be to find a caring way to declare what you're feeling. Sometimes aiming for the self-deprecating charm of a 90's Hugh Grant can end up feeling like hitting yourself with a meat cleaver. Instead, don't go into the details, "I just need to get it out there, I'm feeling nervous because (x), and I want to be honest because I don't want it getting in the way of getting to know you". It’s brave, but you’ll be surprised how good it feels.
Q: How do I ask someone on a date without seeming too keen?
A: Now it's worth saying, if they're giving you nothing and you're planning the honeymoon, take a chemistry check. Assess if there's a vibe between the two of you and if there is let them know you're having fun, it will give them a chance to do the same. From there the next logical step is to move to an in-person meet. Don't be worried about seeming eager, if you're not getting out there then you're doing it wrong in the first place, and if they say no, well that's part of the bigger plan. Rejection is protection, there is a better fit out there for you.
Q: How do I stay safe while dating?
A: Dating platforms can sometimes make it easy for people to hide behind their computers. You should have a right to know who you're meeting and you should have a right to know if they are who they say they are. That's why we made Fluttr. We wanted to create a safe space where all Fluttrers were verified authentic people, so you guys could do the brave work of meeting and making connections. If you want to keep the conversation going, set up a date and meet up in a public place, and make sure your phone is fully charged so you can ask a friend to check in on you. If you're feeling uncomfortable on a date, don't be afraid to leave.
So, if you're ready to take the plunge, we're here to help you find love, and we can't wait to see you Fluttr!