Let’s face it, flirting can be hard – but it’s even harder via message.
At least in person you can get a direct feel for how your next potential date is reacting to your moves, but when it’s just words on a screen, striking the right tone and vibe can be pure guess work. Then there’s the dreading anguish that can set in if you’re hanging on for a reply – ‘Oh No, what did I say wrong?’, ‘maybe they’re asleep now?’, or ‘was that pun too cheesy?’.
Yeah, getting some textual healing down in the right way can be a minefield – but at the same time, it can be a huge amount of fun, and once you get it right it can even become the key to opening up in ways that can sometimes be a struggle face to face.
So how do you get it right? Here are five approaches you can take with your texting that are sure to break the ice and help get the flirty creative juices flowing.
Here’s how to flirt over text.
#1 Have a stronger opener
While there’s a lot to be said for keeping it short and sweet, don’t just give it a lazy ‘hey’ or ‘U ok?’, as this puts pressure on them to start a conversation, and let’s be honest, it isn’t very inspiring.
Instead, have a stronger opener that can set a positive tone and get them engaged. Something like:
- ‘I’ve been meaning to message you!’
- ‘I had to swipe for you when I saw [interesting fact/common interest] on your profile’
These types of messages show a level of confidence, while still being light-hearted, friendly and approachable.
#2 Ask a loaded question
If you want to be sure you’ll get a response, then asking a loaded question or something open-ended is a smart move. These are also great for referencing things you know they like, but also for testing out cringey jokes. Plus, they’re a great excuse to ramp up the flirting and ask something deliberately sexy or provocative.
Here’s some examples:
- ‘How was that new book/series you’ve been reading/watching? Is it any good?’
- How was your run/the gym? We’ll have to go together sometime and see if you can keep up with me
- ‘How about drinks this weekend, Saturday night?’
#3 Be complimentary about them
For those of you who don’t believe that romance is dead, then paying your potential date compliments first is the path that takes you on the hot road to flirt town. Flattery can do wonders!
Better still, you should talk about the things you genuinely like about them as this’ll show them you actually care about what they do and have to say. Give some of these a try:
- ‘I was just thinking about that thing you told me the other day and it made me laugh.’
- ‘Just watching a film and the lead is stunning, she/he looks a bit like you!’.
- I get a good vibe from you, you’re really easy to chat to
- ‘Smart people are attractive; must be why I’m so drawn to you.’
#4 Don’t ghost, but don’t go OTT
The finer nuances of the textual flirt aren’t just about the words sent, it’s also about how and when you reply. If you’ve ever been ghosted, you’ll know how bad and anxious you can feel to have someone seemingly drop off the face of the earth after you’ve messaged them. So if you like this person, make sure you don’t leave them hanging for an eternity. If you do, they’ll get turned off faster than you can switch the lights off.
At the same time, you shouldn’t bombard them with follow up messages if they don’t reply instantly, as again, this is a major turn off.
If you’re mid-text-convo, give it a few hours and maybe chase them up in a jokey way: ‘Did you drop your phone in the bath or something?’. If they still don’t reply, leave it a few days and then drop them a casual but concerned message like; ‘Thinking about you a lot today, would be great to catch up!’. The ball is in their court then, and if you still hear nothing back, it probably isn’t meant to be.
#5 Do what feels safe
A final thing with all these tips though is to only send what feels safe and what you feel comfortable with saying and doing.
This is especially important if you’ve been given someone’s number by someone else, or it’s your first time messaging someone you’ve never met – as catfishing can and does happen all too often.
Avoiding this issue is easy though with Fluttr – as it’s one of the first dating apps to require full ID verification for all its members. This means there’s no trolling, fake profiles or other
illegal activity, just a place for you to connect safely with others and have fun putting your flirty texting skills to the test.
Download the Fluttr app today here.