Reunited with the ex

If you’re like me, you’ve probably entertained the occasional thought about your ex – what they’re up to, if they’re happy, if they’ve found somebody new. Like many, this is how I felt about the tales of Carrie Bradshaw, until “And Just Like That” showed me some things are worth keeping in the past.

In a world devoid of original thought, I couldn’t help but wonder was the sequel to an old flame truly the start of something new?

The last time I saw Big (the Ex) was a year ago. We spent a weekend together. I told no one about this encounter until after the fact, as being dissuaded was not an option. I had to see what was there for myself and what was there, I liked. The weekend was spent having sex, cooking good food, and doing yoga by the sea. We were that couple, the couple that got stopped an inordinate amount of times on the tube and told:

“you two are the cutest!”

We lapped it up each time.

The relationship had always made me feel good about myself, but whether I could say that about Big was another thing entirely. Big was addicted to sulking. If you’ve experienced a relationship with a sulker you know how good energy gets lost trying to find someone who’s buried themself in the sand.

Being single for a long time will have you assessing whether it’s time for a sequel. Often sparked by a change in perspective we might wonder if NEW can be found in something old: like upcycling an old dresser, or a pair of Manolo Blahniks. The focus on Big (whoever that is to you) is born from wanting to be a part of something, whilst being blessed with the distance from the thing we were once a part of. It’s a tease to romanticize the past. But you’ve changed, and crossing old boundaries, is like looking for gold in the rubbish.

If you want to move forward, you have to look ahead.

In the age of social media, it’s never been easier to “like” an old photo of an ex and feel like you’re still connected. But this connection also stops us from truly challenging ourselves to grow and think differently. The sequel isn’t always great, I learnt that about 6 months after my weekend with Big, and a series of sulks later, but I’m glad I did.

And just like that, I put one foot after the next and tried something new.

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